$23 million

I heard this morning that the NY Yankees baseball club is going to pay some pitcher $23 million each year for throwing a ball. I'm all for paying athletes a good wage. They entertain us. They typically have short careers, and few of them have any other skills. I think $150k to $200k is generous. $23 million? There are people sleeping on grates. How about giving him $230k instead, or even $2.3 million and give the rest to a food bank?

Am I the only guy around who thinks there is something very very wrong with this picture?

New Price $9.99

The other day I was on a mission at a major Canadian retailer, looking for something Tuffy P. saw in their flyer (which they didn't know even existed), when I stumbled upon a display for furnace filters. By chance they were the very same furnace filters we use in our furnace. I knew this because earlier that same day, I changed the filter and installed the last one. They were selling them as pairs, for $9.99, a good price for a furnace filter of that quality.

Here's the thing. They had a big screaming yellow sign set up at the display which read, old price, $9.99 (this had a big X through it), and then in bigger font, NEW PRICE $9.99. I immediately found a sales associate and pointed out that as a consumer, I expected the new price to be at least one cent, the smallest possible unit, less than the old price. The sales associate scanned the item and said, "no sir, it's $9.99...the sign is correct". So I politely asked the fellow to find a manager and tell that manager that a customer asked just what kind of narcotics the promotion people were on when they decided to sell the idea that $9.99 was a better price than $9.99. The sales associate agreed to this, and, well, I felt just a little bit better.

As I walked away, I started seeing these screaming yellow price promotion signs everywhere in the store. Maybe a quarter of them had the same problem-the price before was the same as the price after. I consulted another sales associate. "Oh, yeah, I seen these. They get generated automatically by head office. The price is correct." "Don't you think the after price should be just a little bit better than the before price?" "I never thought about it."

In all, I consulted seven different sales associates. I expected that if I kept at it, I would find someone, just one person, who would look at the sign and say something like, "Geez, that's really a stupid mistake, isn't it? I'll get it fixed right away". Nope. It didn't happen. Seven sales associates and nobody thought there was anything goofy about the signs. They all accepted that whatever "head office" did, no matter how silly, had to be OK.

Doesn't anybody care anymore?

Security

I went into a local major retailer today, to buy an electric razor for a friend who lives in a nursing home. The item I was looking for was located in the furthest aisle by the wall in a locked case. I searched around for an employee to open the case, and joked with him that he'd better escort me over to the checkout to be sure I didn't try to pocket the razor. He said that actually he had to do just that. I had never had anything like this happen to me before. I felt like I was being treated like a criminal. Next time, I'll think twice about shopping there.

I heard on the radio this morning....

....that the Pittsburgh Cancer Institute is warning people about cancer risks based on cell phone use. They say kids shouldn't use the devices except in emergencies. We've heard of various studies over the years also associating cellphone use with cancer, but they don't seem to have been conclusive, and in any case, the warnings will continue to be widely ignored.

Neither Tuffy nor I use a cell phone. In my case, some people think that's because I'm some kind of Luddite crank, but in fact it's mostly because we don't feel the need to be connected all the time. Our friends know our schedules and know when they can reach us at home. They also know we don't screen calls and we normally return calls quickly when people leave us messages.

Lately, while out and about on my bicycle, it has seemed to me that a remarkable number of people are on the phone all the time....in the grocery store (um I'm in the meat department what should I buy?), on bicycles, driving cars, walking down the street.... Sometimes I see two people walking together, each talking to somebody else on their phone. What's wrong with this picture?

My big question: who are all these people talking to? I just don't have that many friends.

I can see it now:

Hi, it's mister anchovy.
Mister anchovy? Didn't we talk last week?
Well, yeah, but I just called to you know see how you're doing
I'm doing the same as I was last week. What do you want, fishboy?
You know, just to chat.
Chat? Look, I'm busy, OK? Call me in a couple months.
Yeah. We should get together.
Yeah. I'm kinda busy right now.

Hi, it's mister anchovy.
Look mister anchovy, I know you bought this phone and all, but I can't be talking to you every minute.
Oh. Um, did you see the hockey game?
It's July, anchovy, there is no hockey.
Oh, I mean the soccer...er, football game? The lacrosse game?
You don't even like sports.
Well um...
Look, I'm busy, OK.

So, dear readers, my question to you today is, who the heck do you talk to every day on the phone?

Fireworks and other things that go bang

I'm not a fan of fireworks. I mean, once in a while, say every few years, I like to see a big display. A few years ago, we saw some at City Hall that were pretty good. I'm good for a few more years. What I don't like at all are fireworks set off in the street. The noises scare the cats...a lot. That will happen tonight and/or tomorrow night here in Toronto.

I don't understand why they bother. Instead of a burst of colour, they get a bang and a bright light. Wow. A couple years ago, some of the neighbours were firing Roman Candles at each other, and pretty much every time, I think somebody's house is going to burn down for sure. Fortunately it hasn't happened around here yet.

Maybe it's just me. I'm not big on the loud noises. I can live without things that go fast too. I don't care for ATVs or snowmobiles or personal watercraft. I'm OK with motorcycles...I just don't want to ride one.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Is that anchovy guy already a crank or is he rapidly approaching crankhood? You be the judge.

New Cellphone Laws in Quebec and Nova Scotia

These provinces have joined Newfoundland to ban the use of hand-held cell phones while driving. I think this legislation is right on. Every day, I see drivers making mistakes that could cost them a serious accident - while talking on their phones. Some drivers of course take this even further and talk on the phone while driving, eating, drinking, smoking, reading a map, reading a newspaper, shaving, applying make-up and so on. I accept that we humans are multi-tasking maniacs, and I accept that there are situations where most drivers could handle a call while driving. I firmly believe, though, that when something sudden and bad happens, talking on the phone is doing one too many things. I believe it slows reaction time and distracts attention.

I should say that I'm a pretty conservative driver. I take my time and I try to be considerate to other drivers. Occasionally I will honk a horn or mutter an expletive to the idiot who has just cut me off, but I don't drive aggressively. I just don't need to get anywhere that fast.

The new laws won't mean much because they will be ignored and unenforced. Sorry to be a cup-half-empty guy about this but I think it is the way it is. It's the same with the weavers, who can't stand to have any car in front of them at any time. I see these characters every day, but I never see them get pulled over by the cops. They just keep driving that way until they have a smash-up.

Personally, I don't need to talk to anyone badly enough to do it while I'm driving somewhere. I don't own a cell, and for now at least, I'm OK about that. My friends know my schedule and when they are likely to reach me, and I do have a voice mail, if somebody wants to leave a message.

Sometimes I see two people walking together down the street, each talking on their cell to somebody else. Who do these people talk to? I just don't have enough friends....

Cops charges "stayed" due to court delays - something is very wrong

The Ontario government may examine the justice system following the staying of corruption charges against six Toronto drug squad officers, Premier Dalton McGuinty said on Saturday.
link to article.
According to the article, this group of policemen were charged in 2004 with extortion, obstruction of justice, assault, perjury, and theft. It is alleged that they falsified notes, police records, testimony, and failed to account for drugs and money seized during arrests.

The notion that the our justice system couldn't manage to prosecute these officers on a timely basis is frankly unbelievable and unacceptable. After the charges were laid, 200+ cases the officers were involved with had to be dropped.

Check out this article.
Lawyers allege attorney-general's office intentionally sabotaged the case.

Are the officers guilty? Who knows? They never had their day in court.

Who is going to be accountable?

St. Clair Street Car Chaos

The other night the news on TV featured a story about the St. Clair Ave. TTC right-of-way. Regular readers have heard me rant about this before. It seems the city has failed to coordinate construction contracts, meaning that once the work along St. Clair is done, they're going to tear up parts of the streets and sidewalks again to eliminate lead water lines. The businesses along Corso Italia are taking a bath. According to this article, "the situation is dramatic, with some store owners closing shop and others suffering a 25-30% reduction in their business." The cost of the project has apparently escalated from $32 million to $100 million.

I'd like to urge Toronto residents to make a point to visit Corso Italia shops and restaurants and give these folks your business!

catching up

We were invited to the CANFAR event at the Royal Ontario Museum the other night - yes the one disrupted by the moronic art student from the Ontario College of Art and Design who thought it would be a good idea to stage a bomb scare at the museum. The first part of the event was dinner - which was served at a number of venues in the area - to be followed by the main event at the museum, including the fund-raising silent auction. When we got to the part of Bloor just west of the ROM, it was chaos. Streets were closed. There were police everywhere. We were able to have dinner because our venue was outside the potential blast range, but the rest of the event was canceled as a result of the incident and ensuing investigation. If the event was not disrupted, CANFAR would have the full proceeds in the bank, to help them continue their excellent work fighting AIDS. While I'm confident that the excellent organizers behind this event will find a way to re-stage a fund-raiser, it is such a shame that it was disrupted. As an artist, I'm really embarrassed and angry that a young so-called artist in this town would pull a stupid stunt like this.

Tonight we had some former neighbours over for dinner - Gina and her son Paulo. They moved in the spring after 35 years living on our street. They are delightful people, and we had a great time with them. The evening included some "home-made jam", as I broke out a button accordion, and Paulo showed us what he could do banging on my djembe, with Tuffy and Gina playing various percussion instruments. It was so much fun!

New Speeding Law - cars impounded

28 drivers have been charged already under the new speeding law in Ontario, designed as a deterrent against street racing. Anyone found going over 50km/h faster than the speed limit gets their car impounded, and upon being found guilty, gets a minimum fine of $2,000.

I support this legislation, and I'm tired of aggressive drivers weaving in and out of traffic at breakneck speeds.

To the 28 charged: too bad, eh?

Hey buddy, I got a hot tip....

First a bit of a rant.... I should know enough to take the trouble to go to a good market for my produce, instead of the local supermarket. However, I confess I do often go to the supermarket, and often that has been the closest one to Anchovy World Headquarters, operated by Dominion. Now I contend that sweet corn grown in Ontario is as good as corn grown anywhere (ya,ya,ya Candy, I know it takes a tanker truck full of oil to grow an acre of corn, but I'm weak and I enjoy the stuff in season), and right now, we are at the peak of the corn harvest. I mean, you can get primo fresh peaches and cream corn just about anywhere....except my local Dominion store, which sells a packaged up pastiche of the real thing. Many of you have already heard me rant about the same store insisting on packing mushrooms in plastic, and it seams that each time I go into that store, they've replaced fresh loose produce with the packaged stuff. "It's a corporate decision", they say. Well Dominion is making some bad corporate decisions. Perhaps if I say Dominion doesn't feature local produce enough times on this blog, it will resonate on the innernets and more customers will start demanding better product. Let's try:
Dominion packages corn and mushrooms, much to the dismay of customers.
Dominion's pre-packaged sweet corn is a sad pastiche of the real thing.
Dominion isn't interested in featuring Ontario produce.
Today, I came to my senses and drove over to a really fantastic produce market quite close to my house. Needless to say, they had a plentiful supply of sweet corn.

So there I was buying veggies at the fresh produce market, and the place was bustling. I was putting a handful of okra into a baggie, when I hear,
"excuse me but I'd like to tell you about buying okra. I don't think you know.
I looked up at this fellow smiling at the other side of the okra display.
"OK, how do you buy okra?".
"Bend the little tip at the end. If it breaks, buy it. If it doesn't break, don't buy it. If it doesn't break, it will be too stringy."
"Thanks. You learn something every day."
"I'm a country boy. I can tell you one other thing."
"What's that?"
"Okra's good for arthritis. Mark my words."
So I googled okra and arthritis and found my way to bellybytes, where I learned about the following benefits for okra:

* Strengthens bones
* Protects your heart
* Eases arthritis
* Controls blood pressure
* Enhances blood flow

Wow, the stuff is damn near a miracle drug.

this page features a number of okra recipes.

Road Hockey

This afternoon, the radio was on in the kitchen with a talk radio channel on. The topic was road hockey. It seems somebody or other is trying to ban kids playing hockey on the street. It seems some kids are rude and they don't clear out of the way fast enough for residents to roar past fast enough. Various cranks were calling in to tell the world how horrible it was for these kids to be playing hockey on the street. After all, tennis balls could land on somebody's lawn, or worse yet, bounce of the trunk of some shiny new SUV. We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?

Let me say that I love to see kids playing hockey on our street. They're having some healthy fun. Road hockey is a Toronto tradition. I can recall doing it in my own childhood, calling out carrrrrr whenever one needs to pass...the goalies moving the nets until traffic passes....

Perhaps the cranks who called into the radio station would rather have the kids out of the way, perhaps trading crack for guns down on the corner.

I guess it was a slow news day for the talk radio people....